Unpopular Opinions: Harry Potter

I cannot stand Harry Potter. *Cue the hate comments and shocked looks*. Sorry but I just hate it! I don’t get how one of my best friends can be so obsessed with it (I’m looking at you Tara, I know you’re reading this). There’s this whole world of people that live and breathe Harry Potter and have read each book at least 20 times. Sometimes I do wish I could understand but somehow I just don’t get it. Why is it so good?

I’ve read some of the books and seen the movies and done research into it. I’ve never been one for the fantasy genre so maybe that’s all it is. I just think the story line is predictable and repetitive. Pretty much, good old Harry saves the day even though Ron and Hermione did most of the work. Harry’s just a lucky bugger born with some better wizarding qualities. So what? He doesn’t have to rub it in everyones faces. We get it you’re gifted and a teachers pet, now lets just tone it down and let someone else into the spotlight thank you. It also makes no sense how students were in a lot of danger with Voldemort around and whatnot. They knew he would attack Hogwarts to get Harry so why didn’t they shut the damn school.

I’ll probably get smacked in the face when I say this out loud, so I’ll say it here: I thought the acting sucked in the movies. Obviously, Snape was bae and no one could top him, but I thought the rest were just so average. Everyone was just so dramatic and I just didn’t get Harry as a character. I found him irritating and boring. I think the only relatable characters were the dementors. I dig them because they are like me:cold and sucking the soul out of everyone. I felt the characters in the books didn’t have much depth so I suppose you could argue that the three main characters played their part very well.

I think the worst thing about the Harry Potter series is how it effects people. I have heard (multiple times) heated arguments about what house they’re in or what their patronus is. Like, I get when people talk about a good book or movie and say what they like and don’t like but when people get too involved it just becomes very old, very fast.

Maybe I just don’t know ‘good literature’ but I can’t stand anything to do with Harry Potter. 7 books and 8 movies was enough, I thought it would be over, but Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them is a thing, and if I’m not mistaken, is related to the Harry Potter world. Let it end already!

Larne

Macbleughth

Sorry for the awful title, I thought it was funny. I’m a drama person, as is my dad. Long story short, he played Malcolm in Macbeth once, I studied it in English briefly, and so when it came to Adelaide, we went with my ma and sister. For those who don’t know, Macbeth is a very violent, gory play, and *spoiler alert* pretty much everyone dies. Sounds like Game Of Thrones really… Anyway, I deal with gore very well but, boy was I unprepared for this one.

So, as I mentioned, it’s a graphic play, but how can they make it so graphic without the help of computers or without ACTUALLY chopping someones arm off? Well, the answer is pretty sweet. Literally, apparently the ‘blood’ is made of like glucose and red food colouring. One of the three witches was present for just about the whole play, and when someone died she would come along casually and pour the blood (from her mouth mind you) sneakily on to the dying character. Yeah, I guess it was a kinda cool concept but for an emetophobe it was the longest two hours ever. Characters regularly ‘vomited’ blood, and one character did actually vomit. I have no idea what she threw up and made it was made of, but I don’t even wanna know about it.

As mentioned, this one witch was present the entire time, and I gotta give the costume designer applause for scarring me. That girl was the stuff of nightmares. In the Q&A after the play, they mentioned that the goal was to make it like she was in the midst of a war zone. She was covered in dusty white, torn clothes, and she has gauze over her eyes so you could only see her lower face. She moved very slowly, and it was terrifying. I got completely lost because she also played the children characters…without changing costume or anything, so I’m sitting there asking why this witch is suddenly so damn happy, and then at the end it finally hit me. Costume change was needed. Intermission was also needed. My butt hurt and I got distracted lots towards the end of the play.

And don’t even get me started on the bloke that played Macbeth! That man could shoot spit as far as the auditorium. It wasn’t just once or twice either. It was every. Single. Sentence. Actually that reminds me of when I played Shenzi in the Lion King. I’d just caught the flu and when I first came on stage I had to do a wild, crazy laugh. As soon as I did, I laughed up a mouth full of thick phlegm, and you know what I did? I swallowed that son of a bitch and kept performing. Dry your mouth before you perform, son.

Those are my thoughts on the performance of Macbeth. Yeah, it was good, I can see why people would like it, but I’m petty. I notice the small things. Like things coming out of peoples mouths. Like vomit. Like blood. Like spit. That’s an instant fail. I left feeling like a rather grumpy individual, but then I got pizza so everything was just fine and dandy.

Larne

My Close Claim To Fame

You remember a few posts ago I mentioned that school essentially screwed up and ended up lowering my grades? If you haven’t, here’s the link. The same thing more or less happened when I auditioned for a movie. There was an advert for an Australian film company looking for teenage actors to star in a feature film. There were adverts everywhere and thousands of young, aspiring actors auditioned. The film is called Girl Asleep and has been very successful. I auditioned for the female lead.

The first audition required you to read a one page monologue that they provided and send them a video along with some personal details. I’d been practising for ages and got to filming the day before the deadline. Because of this I was rushed and was sitting there in my onesie, my hair wasn’t brushed, and I’d just woken up. So it wasn’t professional in the slightest. I was proud that I’d sent it in and didn’t expect anything back. Fast forward a couple of weeks and I get an unusual email from the company. They said there was a mistake in the previous email and that my next audition was on X date. I never got that “previous email” so I replied asking if they’d sent it to the wrong person. The date for the next audition was a week since I received that email, so I hoped for a response asap because I wasn’t sure if I was meant to be attending or if it was another mistake.

Days went by and still there was no response. It was three days until this audition so mum decided to call them. She asked if I was meant to have an audition and they said ummmmmmm……oh yeah she’s on the list. Apparently they seemed very cavalier about the whole thing. They sent me a script that I needed to memorise in 3 days. We printed this document and this thing was the size of the DAMN DICTIONARY. It was a joint audition with a guy going for the main male lead, so you needed to know both parts. I had 3 days. Everyone else had a week. I was ecstatic that I’d gotten to the next stage BUT 3 DAYS??? ON TOP OF SCHOOLWORK??? It was very hectic, and I spent my time in class reading that script over and over.

The audition day came and I was silently shitting myself. We went into a big building where a lady was waiting for us and told us where to wait. Around the same time a boy came in and I assumed I was auditioning with him. I felt slightly better because he looked pretty chill about the whole situation, and I thought hey, we’re in the same boat. When we went up to the next waiting area we got talking. He was a year older than me and apparently he’d done loads of auditions. Great. Not in the same boat anymore. Just like that, any ounce of confidence left in me was taken away. We got called in and my last thought was pretty much YOLO.

When we walked in the director asked for our names. Larne Wilagan, I said. Immediately, she responded, and I quote: “Ah yes, you’re the girl with no previous acting experience.” That meant, that out of the thousands that auditioned, and out of the 75ish that were picked to go on to the next round, I was the ONLY girl that hadn’t had previous acting experience. That was my proudest moment. I felt damn good. We started with a warm up activity that I wasn’t aware was actually part of the audition. I was there, smiling and giggling away, not realising that I had to try and be in character. Stupid. It just got worse though. I’d gotten to the point where I’d only just memorised the script. I had run out of time to figure out the character and make some improv lines, so when this big hotshot actor guy messed up his lines, I was stuck. thanks a lot mate. Of course, I couldn’t say my sob story about not having the script to the director, she’s a busy lady. So I sucked it up, asked to see the script, and got on with it. Safe to say I didn’t get a callback.

In the end, out of those 75ish picked, 3 got called called back, and in the end I think they went with someone completely different that didn’t audition. Also, I found big stupid hotshot actor that messed up his lines on Facebook. Turns out he goes to NIDA now. Oh well. Their final choice of actors was good I think, but it was a good opportunity to ‘find’ someone rather than have already famous faces on there. I do know a girl who is an extra in it so good on her! It’s a great movie, would recommend however, would recommend more if I was in it.

Larne